i miss them so much
Dua when one loses hope
T__T
Don’t praise me because I’m on deen
but pray for me because I have faults
which you haven’t seen”.
Lesson learned~
A while back I asked people on tumblr what they were grateful for, or something good that happened to them that day-and it had to be something from the top of their heads. I thought I’d post some of the replies, the range of the answers reminded me of how small my own existence was. Every point is from a different person:
- ”I apologized to my mother for my teen years being so rough”
- “Losing my sight is one of my biggest fears. I am always grateful of how healthy I am. I live near a senior citizen house and many are sick…”
- “This morning my dad had a hart attack but he survived.”
- “I am grateful to have another day to make myself a better person.”
- “I’m so grateful to have a small but nice & warm home. A fussy little daughter yet she’ll comfort me with her smile & laughter. :)”
- “My mother. Just thinking about life without her for one second brings tears to my eyes”
- “I am grateful that Allah takes care of me, I never have to suffer from hunger, or sleep without shelter, or be without clothes. Allahu Akbar”
- “I am grateful because I have no new tumors.”
- ”I’m grateful for, alhamdulillah, being able to smile and seeing my mother’s smile.”
- “My parents, even tho I don’t show it most of the time”
…I’ve seen the frailest man - my 84 year old grandfather - await death in his hospital bed, and I’ve seen a young man - 23 years of age - die in his sleep.
I ask myself how longer are we going to keep living in such a lucid state of mind. How often do we need death to knock on the door of people we know for us to snap back into consciousness. How many times?
How much longer do we need to go on snapping at eachother - back and forth, back and forth - in anger and frustration because of lack of empathy and understanding. How longer must I watch people spend more time in mosques talking about one another than actually worshiping God?
Do we only wake up when someone rests asleep forever? Is that what needs to pull us back into reality so that we may rationally weigh our circumstances and situation on a deep, spiritual level?
This world concerns me. But more importantly, my own state concerns me. What am I doing today that is preparing me for tomorrow? What am I studying every day that will benefit me, my children, my community, my future students, and my spouse? How is my spent time worthy time? How is living today, being in existence today, bringing me that much closer to Allah? Is it?
I’ve seen people await death. I’ve seen people die without anticipation of death. And I’ve seen people watch death before their eyes. Whatever the circumstance, I always remind myself this:
فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ ۖ وَاللَّهُ الْمُسْتَعَانُ عَلَىٰ مَا تَصِفُونَ
..(for me) patience is most fitting: Against that which ye assert, it is Allah (alone) Whose help can be sought.
[Surah Yusuf ayah 18]
